What I’m Hoping For This Christmas

The year is coming to an end, and so is my mental fortitude. Lately, it feels like around every corner there’s something that drains me a little more. Between endless tasks, technical woes, and rising pain levels, I’m starting to feel numb. I love my students and coworkers, and I’m trying to purposefully find ways to fall back in love with my job, but after a series of trials and tribulations, my reserves need regeneration. I’m at the point where anticipation is the only energy I have, and I’m tired of it.
As I get closer to break, my list of “hopefuls” grows, starting with tangible moments that help me reset. At the top of that list is the desire to refresh my room. Nothing eases the tension in my chest at night quite like curling up in freshly washed blankets, my reading light glowing softly, books lining the shelves. That kind of coziness makes sleep come easier. Right now, I don’t feel that comfort.
When my niece moved off to college, I inherited her cat. In the short time she’s been gone, this cat and I have grown pretty close. One of the harder times for both of us, though, is bedtime. My room isn’t set up for her to stay in at night, so after cuddling, she has to go back to her room. I’d like to make my room a bit more cat-appropriate and move some of her things in so she feels more comfortable. Along with cleaning up and doing some minor reorganizing, I’m hoping this larger project will help set the tone for my mental break.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about doing things that fill me up instead of depleting me. One thing I’m genuinely excited about this break is reading. I’ve fallen behind, and that makes me sad. Back in November, the second book in Callie Hart’s Quicksilver series came out. I picked up Quicksilver to reread it, but I haven’t made it past page one. I even tried the audiobook, but my never-ending to-do list drowned it out. I’m hoping that with a little peace and quiet, I’ll be able to return to this small thing that used to bring me so much joy.
Writing, at least, has stayed within reach. I’ve been intentionally making time for it, even with my workload. When my brain feels like it’s overflowing, being able to put any thought to paper replenishes my soul just a bit. That practice has helped me see real growth in my book, and more importantly, a growing comfort with my own style. With that comfort, I’m hoping to make some real progress and maybe even double the length of my draft, pushing toward Chapter Twenty. I’ve even gone so far as to join an author forum on Threads, where I can ask for advice and share experiences with those who are where I am, and those who have been there before.
As meaningful as my personal reset feels, it isn’t the thing I’m most excited about.
At the end of the day, what I’m really looking forward to most is making memories with the people I love. This will be our first Christmas with both of my parents retired. My niece is home from college. My other niece’s twins are over a year old now and much more involved in everything. My sister recently got married, so this will be our first Christmas with her husband and his kids. I know there will be plenty of moments worth holding onto, moments that will help carry me into the new year.
Even writing these hopes down gives me a little more energy to tide me over until I get to experience them for real. My hope is that whoever is reading this has their own small things to hold onto as Christmas approaches. It’s okay to need a reset. It’s important to take time to restore your energy. Christmas can be a beautiful reminder to slow down and remember what truly matters.