The Help Desk Is Open: Building a Culture of Support in Every Learning Space

Last week, the book club I’m in discussed Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown. Unfortunately, life got in the way of me reading the entire book, but we still had some great discussion around its themes. One question that came up was: Are we teaching our families how to be vulnerable? Are we modeling the kind of vulnerability it takes to ask for help, the vulnerability to stand up for what we believe in?
As someone who has struggled with a lifelong disability, I’ve been forced to be more vulnerable than I would have ever been comfortable with under different circumstances. I have to ask for help with some of the most mundane and humbling day-to-day tasks. This often causes me to struggle with self-worth and, at times, anger. However, in those moments when I’m able to set aside my pride, I can step back and appreciate the gift it is to be capable of asking for help.
In my classroom, I try to instill the idea that asking for help isn’t a weakness. Everybody needs help from time to time, and being able to respectfully ask for it shows maturity. It means you understand that sometimes your safety or self-care is more important than proving you can do something all by yourself. This isn’t an easy skill for most adults, let alone children. I’ve also learned that much of it comes down to having people around you whom you trust to help you without making you feel worse for asking. Sadly, that’s not always the case for everyone.
In learning how to ask for help, I’ve also learned that it’s just as important to be someone others can trust when they need help. That means never making them feel like a burden or stupid for asking. Patience goes a long way in helping others feel secure in your presence. It’s difficult to teach that, except through example. When students (or even adults) ask for my help, I try to always praise them for recognizing their need. If it’s a student who typically refuses to ask for help, I’ll even throw in a gentle joke… something like, “I’m so glad you asked. I was starting to feel useless over here!”
Putting people at ease so they feel comfortable asking for help is a wonderful gift, one I fear many are beginning to lose.

In short:

• What are you doing to model vulnerability?
• Are you a safe source of help?

• What can you do better to show the next generation that asking for help isn’t a weakness?