Practicing the Pause

I’m tired. Not in the cute kind of tired where a good night’s sleep and an extra energy drink will fix things. I’m the kind of tired where every additional question feels slightly more complicated than it probably is, minor inconveniences feel a lot less minor, and sometimes I have to consciously locate my patience before I can actively use it. Unfortunately, I’m also realizing that these are probably the moments when it matters the most.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about already this school year is the kind of culture I want to help cultivate around me. I want it to feel natural to assume the best in each other, approach problems looking for ways to help instead of looking for someplace to lay the blame, and give each other a little grace when things inevitably go wrong. But if those are things I want from the people around me, they also have to be things I’m willing to practice myself, especially when I’m stressed, frustrated, or running on fumes. (Which I am.) Lately, that's meant learning to practice the pause, a concept I learned from former coworkers and family members who spent decades in education. Sometimes it’s only a few seconds between my first reaction and what actually comes out of my mouth, but those few seconds give me enough time to remember that I may not know the whole story, that I should assume good intent, and try to approach the person or problem in front of me with a servant’s heart instead of an exhausted one.
That doesn’t mean I magically stop being irritated. Sometimes the problem really is irritating. It doesn’t mean ignoring problems, making excuses for people, or pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. For me, it’s simply a conscious effort to make sure my stress doesn’t get passed along to the next person and that the way I respond reflects the kind of environment I keep saying I want to be part of creating.
I’m definitely not going to get that right every time, but I’m beginning to think that culture shifts happen just as much in these tiny interactions as they do in the big conversations. If I want to be part of changing the culture around me, I've got to be willing to let that culture change me too. So, especially on the days when I’m tired, sore, overwhelmed, and maybe a little crankier than I’d like to admit, I’m trying to practice the pause.